Not Mayberry

2011-12-26T22:49:00.003-05:00

A very special picture for little Mr Miggs....

... this is me with my brother's grand niece (and consequently mine, I assume) in the place way to our south. The Old One took it especially for Miggs.

That's me pretending I am Santa Clause's younger and thinner brother with little Angela. Several suggestions were made, totally unprompted, that she would be the perfect girl for Miggs. Really. And with no threat of mayhem, battleaxes, evil laughs, or plans for world domination.

Angela figures that if she has all her male relatives wrapped around her little finger that will do.

NB: not a fountain pen in my pocket.

2011-11-19T13:55:00.002-05:00

Another hot prospective girlfriend for Mr Miggs...

... this one is cute, young, loves toy car wrecks, and has a "take-over-the-world" laugh that is perfect.

No no. Don't thank me.

somehow I think I am going to get the same response as the last one.

2011-11-14T22:15:00.002-05:00

The females in my life are getting a little bossy ...

... The other day Carmen brought home a children's book called Little Goblins Ten. As soon as I walked in she shoved it into my hands and demanded that I read it to her. Being a sorta New Age kinda guy I immediately said "Of course,dear." And I read the first verse.

Over in the forest
Where the trees hide the sun
Lived a big mommy monster
And her little monster one.
"Scare!" said the mommy;
"I scare," said the one.
So he scared and he scampered
Where the trees hide the sun.

I thought I'd done a great job, capturing the true pathos of being a monster AND a single mom off where the trees hide the sun. But no. That wasn't good enough. "No, you have to make your voice sound like ..." followed by very specific instructions on how to read it. She wasn't much impressed by my next effort either.

A few day earlier we had had Maire with Maeraed and Miggs (or Katara and Aang as they were for the evening) down for their trick or treating. After we had gone around the neighborhood holding everyone up for treats we came back and Maeraed helped me give out candy to the children coming to our house.

I was giving out some candy to a cute little witch, fumbled a bit, and when I turned back inside Maeraed said "Well, you blew that one." I suggested she do it herself. So she did. She gave out the candy to the next group of kids and turned back to me "That's how it's done! No mess, no bother."

Oh.

2011-11-14T09:39:00.003-05:00

Sine qua non ....

... for you Latins.

This morning Carmen thought of a funny punchline for my last post on that other blog without really even thinking about it.

Awestruck I blurted "Thank god I married a woman with a sense of humor."

Then I began to think about it ....

2011-10-29T13:05:00.003-04:00

If they can do it...

... why can't we?

2011-10-25T16:58:00.002-04:00

This picture came from the NY Times web page.

I just posted it here because I like it.

2011-10-15T18:10:00.005-04:00

Helen Latour, was Carmen's mentor in teaching ...

... as I pointed out in this post in January. Here is a little story about her legacy.

I ride the bus up to Boone once a week, more if I can. One of the people I talk to while we wait for the bus is Mario, a young Hispanic trying to get a pre-med degree at Appstate despite enormous odds.

He told me that when he first came to America and was in elementary school he had already scored very high on the tests for math and science. Yet for some reason his teachers remanded him to summer school. Helen was one of the summer teachers. She gave the class an assignment to do in class which Mario did in about five minutes and than sat quietly. She immediately charged over and asked why he had stopped working (I can just see her - she could be very intimidating).

Mario said he had finished. She said "You've only been working on it for five minutes!" She looked at his paper and said "Young man come out into the hall so I can talk to you." So Mario went. Helen asked why he was even in summer school. Mario more or less shrugged - he was just doing what the school had told him he had to do. Then she informed him of what he really had to do.

For the rest of the summer she had him come over once a day to her house where she drilled him relentlessly in English. That was his real problem. The school had not even tried to help. But for Helen it was her duty to teach him every day if necessary because she recognized how smart he was.

And today his English is as good as a native speaker. It was the start of the road to pre-med.

That was Helen.

2011-10-11T22:20:00.003-04:00

Young Mr Miggs tells me a story ...

... As on every Tuesday I was at the Mellow Mushroom with Maire and Murty and their kids, the Vietnamese trio, and assorted collegues. By the end of the evening little Mr Miggs was wired with overstimulation. I got him to set on my lap hoping to calm him down. Maire said keep him quiet because he is about to lose it ... or fall asleep.

So I whispered in his ear, "Tell me a story Miggs."

And without a seconds hesitation he says:

"One upon a time there was a brave knight.
His name was Sir Michael.
Then he died.
THE END!"

You have to admit, whatever it lacks in character development or subtlety, it's got a hell of a narrative arc.

2011-10-07T23:01:00.004-04:00

Our young theologian...

... is just getting started on what I can only assume will be an interesting life. May it be long even if he is not.

Here, direct from Maire's family blog, is the story of one Sunday in the life of little Mr Miggs:

Sundays are always an adventure. Now that Miggs is old enough to go to CCD (Sunday school), it's even more interesting -- after being very good there, it's even harder than usual to sit still for an hour+ service.

Highlights from today included:
-shushing (loudly) everyone around us when his beloved choir began to sing, and they all had the nerve to join in
-singing "We are all one Body" at the top of his lungs during the sermon
-hearing Fr Dave say something about "one God" and piping up (loudly) with "One God?! We learned in 'chool today dere are t'ree gods!"
-appearing to drop his two quarters into the collection basket, but after the basket had moved on he looked up with his most mischievous grin and held up the one he'd palmed

Glad to see he is a Nicene Creed kinda guy.

2011-09-30T23:26:00.004-04:00

Once before I found the perfect girl for little Mr Miggs...

...That was the little girl who wanted a battle ax for Christmas. But nooooo. His mother wouldn't allow it. Something about saving the human race.

So here's another one. It's from a site called "Shit my kid has ruined." She's charming. Miggs would be entranced.

2011-09-18T23:46:00.003-04:00

Glow little kitty-cat, glimmer glimmer ...

... love this picture of the glowing cat. I'd like to clone Ben and have the geneticists add this new gene. Ben is, of course, much cuter than this cat. She just doesn't glow in the dark.

2011-09-17T10:32:00.003-04:00

OMG! Nicholas Cage IS a vampire! ...

... on the left, the well known actor. On the right, a carte de visite from c. 1870. This is put here for the Old One (an old photog fan) and for the Confederate Nut (a fan of the just generally weird).

2011-08-30T23:26:00.001-04:00

I really want this kitty cat...

... mainly because it is clearly crazier than Ben and just as cute. Thanks to our big sis for discovering this guy.

2011-08-05T23:17:00.004-04:00

Young Mr Miggs is... uh....

an interesting and enterprising little fellow. Here are two little squibs (postlets? Blots?) from his mother's facebook page.

To my beloved son: Mommy understands that accidents happen. And I'm very proud that you wanted to clean it up yourself. However, a mix of hand sanitizer, toothpaste, liquid soap and a few gallons of water really didn't help. Next time, please just call me. please.

The day started with Mickey coating himself (and the bathroom) in lipstick and mascara, and ended with him eating several Jr Tylenol tablets while Sue Lambright's in-laws babysat for us. I may never go on vacation again; it's too stressful.

Does this remind anyone of our cousin Meredith?

someday I'll tell the boy about how his uncle tried to draw a mural with lipstick on the living room walls a long long time ago.

2011-06-21T22:27:00.003-04:00

A conversation with Máeráed ...

... sometimes takes an odd turn. There I was, setting in my office, trying to get lots of work done, when Máeráed and her friend Amelie came in to help me. With two nine year olds, what could go wrong? They discovered my little futon chair and somehow upended it into a giant L and went under it like a fort, or a little house.

Then Máeráed asked if I had a blanket. Actually, I did, or rather I had my official black and gold Appstate snuggy! So they took that and made a door for the house.

Then they asked for something to do because they were bored. I gave them a big stack of student papers that I want to use for printing on the blank sides and told them to remove the staples. Then little voices from inside the house asked for a staple remover. Got it.

Then they were at work. Máeráed asked me if I had enjoyed my anniversary weekend in Charlotte with Carmen. I said yes, but the cats were bad while we were gone.

"What did the cats do?" Máeráed asked from deep inside the little house.

"One threw up on the bedspread and one pooped on the futon!"

A few yee-uws and giggles. Then Máeráed wanted to know "What's a futon?"

"That's the flat bed you sleep on when you come to visit us."

"HEY!"

"Why? Do you want to come for an overnight visit?

"NOT UNTIL YOU CLEAN UP THE FUTON!!!"

"Uh. O.K."

2011-06-06T19:05:00.002-04:00

I sometimes feel this way...

... especially now that it is June.

2011-05-29T17:14:00.004-04:00

Same thing. Just testing.

2011-05-29T17:00:00.004-04:00

Just testing and fooling ...
... around with my new printer, trying to make Mr Miggs a birthday present.

2011-05-13T22:54:00.002-04:00

Our local politicians ....

... are what gives Wilkes Co (and most of the rural south) a bad name.

One of our country commissioners told another one that "only deadbeats use the library."

Yep. Once you have a subscription of "Guns and Ammo" and your copy of Going Rogue, what else do you need?

Needless to say, he's a Republican, and of course, a fine upstanding Christian.

I think I am going to teach young Mr Miggs how to say "you ignorant peckerwood." I am sure his Mother will thank me.

2011-05-13T22:49:00.003-04:00

About that sleep problem ...

... this one. Remember?

Oh. Well, I didn't really think so.
BUT! It got worse. A lot worse. I was sleeping 8 hours a night, getting up sleepy, taking two hour naps, going to bed sleepy, etc.

So ... next week, off to the sleep doctor. Or rather his nurse practicioner. First, the interview. Then, the sleep test. Then ... well, maybe nothing. Hard to say. But now that I am free for the summer, and sleepy for a few hours every afternoon is delicious, I am going to try to get to the bottom of this.

2011-05-13T22:47:00.001-04:00

When Kittens go bad....

... they hang around on sofa corners smoking cigarettes.

And they get REALLY annoyed if you try to take their smokes.

really

2011-05-06T14:20:00.002-04:00

For all the nieces and nephews, real and presumed, we present...

... Smokey, the world's loudest cat.

Really. Louder than a washing machine.

well, anyone else who likes cats can listen too.

2011-04-13T22:09:00.007-04:00

Mr Miggs and his knights ...

... is so funny that I think I will just put up the quote from his mother's e-mail. She took him to the Play Again playroom, designed for kids who... well, who... uh, are just like Miggs. Testosterone poisoned (i.e. too much boy). Anyway, here is Maire an Rua's report of young Mr Miggs' first official day at Play Again:

So Mr Miggs has his first "Session" today. Granted, it looked mainly like fun play to me, but he did like it. I'll find out later if he was mellower at school. The best moment came at the very end, when he was drawing on a white board.

"What is it Mickey?"
"It's a KNIGHT! I gonna write 'is name now" (Miggs draws an endless M)
"What's his name? Is that M for Sir Miggs?"
"No, 'is name is Sir Ulrich von Lichtenstein."

Kind of reminds me of cousin Sterling when he was just a tiny three year old. Adults would see him, think he was an adorable little toddler, pat him on the head and ask "And what do you want to be when you grow up little boy?"

"I want to be a paleontologist!"

Which usually left them speechless.

now you have to go see "A Knight's Tale", Sir Miggs favorite movie. btw, that is a picture of the real Ulrich von Lichtenstein.

2011-04-10T21:35:00.003-04:00

Not just a pretty face ....

... well, actually, he IS just a pretty face as far as I know.

... but he probably has a wonderful personality and is smart as a whip

I mean, for a red panda cub

2011-04-03T11:52:00.002-04:00

Lately I've been feeling unusually sleepy ...

... during the day. Sleeping 8 hrs or so every night and still needing an hour nap every day and never feeling like I am waking up, even after 5 cups of coffee, is usually a bad sign for me.

So I went off to see Bob the CPAP tech. He immediately said I needed all new plastic parts for the machine. After all, insurance will pay for it (in case we were wondering why our insurance premiums just went up).

So last night I connected all of the new hoses, nose plugs, headgear, etc., and will see if I don't feel better within a week or so.

but if not, back to the doctor. Either that or mainlining Mountain Dew like young Clovis does.

2011-04-03T11:49:00.004-04:00

A distant, very distant, relative of the little lummox ...

aka ... a Corgi.

from this site.

2011-04-01T22:03:00.002-04:00

What if chessmen were real? ...

... Tia Carmen found this and thinks it is so clever she wants me to send it out for Máeráed. And perhaps for her dad, Murty.

Come to think of it, I did see Máeráed playing chess with a college student at a burrito dive last Tuesday.

2011-02-14T19:56:00.002-05:00

Two Irish guys go into a bar ...

2011-02-02T10:22:00.002-05:00

It's that day again...

2011-01-18T17:13:00.000-05:00

Silly animals ....

... a thought which passes through my mind most evenings here at the Clemens household. But see for yourself.

2011-01-15T19:42:00.003-05:00

And now, for something completely pho...

... pronounced more like Phuh... here is a tip from the Washington Post if anyone is ever back up near Clemens' native land, my petit patrie, as the French say, courtesy of the "Going Out Gurus":

Best pho restaurant in Northern Virginia: What is it?

Lavanya Ramanathan: My boyfriend will argue it's Pho 88 in Falls Church. I like it because there's a veggie pho, and the people are nice.

Justin Rude: The popular answer is Pho 75 Arlington, and it's a good choice, too. It features long communal tables and by-the-number ordering. I like No. 1.

As for us here in the mountains we have to make do with a Japanese restaurant called Ichiban run by a Vietnamese guy named Peter down in Winston. And then only on Friday and Saturday. Carmen and I went down there this afternoon looking for a good bowl of Pho. I knew when I did it that I spent too much time in the shower. By the time we got there they had just sold the last of the Pho. Damn. Had to make do with Vietnamese beef salad and Ichiban seafood soup.

Which wasn't bad at all.

2011-01-06T11:16:00.003-05:00

Carmen lost a good friend the other day ...

... one who had been quite a force in the community. Helen had once taught at Appstate but retired the year before I got there. My good friend and colleague Dom Lorenzo had worked closely with her on a number of projects trying to promote the social good.

She was, it must be admitted, a crusty, cantankerous forceful woman who wanted things done her way and did not suffer fools at all, much less gladly, but she had a good heart and did much for the education of the people of Wilkes, especially the Hispanics. It was Helen who encouraged Carmen to teach English as a second language to inmates at the state work camp (aka prison) which I think was an important and formative experience for Carmen. Helen, who knew a thing or two about teaching, told me that Carmen was a gifted teacher. Which is true (she has certainly taught me all kinds of things).

For all these reasons I will post the entire obituary which appeared on the front page of the Wilkes Journal Patriot:

Dr. Helen Elizabeth Latour, 85, of Cricket Ivy Lane, North Wilkesboro, died Tuesday, Jan. 4, 2011 at Villages of Wilkes Skilled Care.

In 1989, Dr. Latour founded Volunteers for Wilkes Literacy (VWL), an organization to teach, through trained volunteers, reading and writing to those in need. In addition, volunteers worked to raise public awareness of the literacy needs in Wilkes County.

VWL provides one-on-one tutoring for illiterate adults, English as a second language, and citizenship instruction by trained volunteers. VWL also offers instruction for parents of children in the Head Start program.
Dr. Latour helped as a leader, instructor and fundraiser for the organization. One of the events which she organized was a spelling bee for teams from local businesses and organizations.
In 2009, Dr. Latour was presented with the North Carolina Medallion Award, the state's highest volunteer honor. She was nominated for the award by the Wilkes Volunteer Commission, which recognizes volunteer service in Wilkes County. She was the first resident of the county to receive the award.
The Medallion Awards in 2009 were presented to 20 volunteers in the state.

2010-12-28T22:06:00.001-05:00

Coming down to the port city this Christmas Carmen decided to spend two days at ....

... Beaufort, SC (pronounced Buford). We stayed at the Greyhound Flats, two "luxury apartments" nicely renovated from a former Greyhound Bus station, back in the days when the US was covered with bus routes that went almost anywhere and you didn't have to take the plane.

I thought of them more as "affordable luxury apartments" but they certainly were very nice. The owners who run a jewelry store right around the corner did all the design work themselves. The pictures actually don't do them justice. I found them very comfortable and relaxing. Also because downtown Beaufort is a slow easy going place that closes down around 7 pm the rooms were completely quiet (except for the evening the gospel choir from the Tabernacle Church on the next block fired up and that was a gift).

The little lummox shamelessly luxuriated in the luxury of the luxury apartments. We left him alone in there the first evening to go for a walk and were afraid he might be upset at being left. Nope. He happily hopped up on the beds, one of the most comfortable I have ever slept on, and laid there dreaming doggie thoughts until we came back. He seemed to enjoy his stay, and he certainly enjoyed downtown Beaufort. Except for the large number of extraordinarily friendly cats found there.

2010-12-28T11:22:00.003-05:00

What we are missing now that we are ...

... down here in the unnamed port city that I love to malign. Yes, it has been a bit snowy up home in Wilkesboro. I will have to get in touch with Maeraed's family and see how they have survived up on their mountain ridge. For more pictures click here.

I suppose this could all be seen as an advantage to spending Christmas down here in this swamp hole.

2010-12-25T12:25:00.001-05:00

Clemens with Mulan, Carmen with Maeraed, and Mulan's grandmother.

Taken on the stage after the performance of "The Nutcracker." It was a lot of fun, especially watching it with little Mr Miggs.

2010-12-25T12:22:00.001-05:00

Here is Maeraed practicing for her ballet role in "The Nutcracker"

2010-12-13T01:50:00.002-05:00

This one is for the Old One with the beautiful Vietnamese wife ...

... you know who I mean. It is from Máeráed's mother who want some advice with Mi quang chicken.

It is from Mi quang is a specialty of Tam Ky province, Mickey's birthplace. Traditionally it's a pork/shrimp dish but we had mi quang chicken when we visited, which is apparently gaining in popularity.

I wanted to make the dish for little Mr Miggs, especially after I found the special bright yellow noodles at an Asian Market in Charlotte a few weeks ago. The problem is I couldn't find a recipe for the chicken dish anywhere, and only one or two versions of the pork recipe that didn't agree on many details. It would help, too, if I remembered the meal better and knew what the broth should taste like! But I gave it a shot, and here's what I came up with:

Broth
1.5-2 lb chicken bones (this is a great use for a leftover carcass)
4 medium or large shrimp
1 medium onion
4" chunk of ginger
salt
2 tsp sugar
3 TAB fish sauce

Chicken
3 TAB annato seeds
1/8 C canola oil
1/2 lb boneless chicken, sliced for stir-fry
1/2 lb peeled shrimp
pepper to taste

Noodles
2 packages of Mi Quang rice noodles

Garnishes
bean sprouts
mint leaves
lime wedges
cilantro
scallions
roasted peanuts, coarsely crushed
banana blossom (optional)
Black sesame rice crackers (Banh Da--broken into bite-sized pieces)

These first steps are lifted just about wholesale from Andrea Nguyen's recipe for chicken pho:
1. Place the onions and ginger directly on the cooking grate of a medium-hot charcoal or gas grill (as pictured, to the right) or a gas stove with a medium flame, or on a medium-hot burner of an electric stove. Let the skin burn (if you’re working indoors, turn on the exhaust fan and open a window), using tongs to rotate onion and ginger occasionally and to grab and discard any flyaway onion skin.

After 15 minutes, the onions and ginger will have softened slightly and become sweetly fragrant. There may even be some bubbling. You do not have to blacken the entire surface. When amply charred, remove from the heat and let cool.

2. Rinse the cooled onions under warm running water, rubbing off the charred skin. Trim off and discard the blackened root and stem ends. Use a vegetable peeler, paring knife, or the edge of a teaspoon to remove the ginger skin. Hold it under warm water to wash off any blackened bits. Halve the ginger lengthwise and bruise lightly with the broad side of a cleaver or chef’s knife. Set the onions and ginger aside.

3. Remove and discard any loose pieces of fat from the chicken parts. Wielding a heavy cleaver designed for chopping bones, whack the bones to break them partway or all the way through, making the cuts at 1- to 2-inch intervals, depending on the size of the part. This exposes the marrow, which enriches the broth.

4. To achieve a clear broth, you must first parboil and rinse the chicken parts. Put them in a stockpot (about 12-quart capacity) and add cold water just to cover. Bring to a boil over high heat and boil vigorously for 2 to 3 minutes to release the impurities. Dump the chicken parts and water into the sink (make sure it is clean), and then rinse the parts with water to wash off any clinging residue. Quickly scrub the stockpot clean and return the chicken parts to the pot.

5. Pour in the water so that all the chicken is covered with water. Bring to a boil over high heat and then lower the heat to a gentle simmer. Use a ladle or large, shallow spoon to skim off any scum that rises to the top. Add the onions, ginger, salt, fish sauce, sugar, and cook, uncovered, for 1.5 hours, adjusting the heat if needed to maintain a gentle simmer.

The rest is me combining a few recipes I found online and some hints from an email exchange I had with Andrea Nguyen (who was kind enough to return my messages!):

Heat 1/8 cup of canola oil in large wok and add annato seeds. As the temperature rises, the red color will seep out of the annato seeds. Strain and discard seeds. Saute garlic, shallots, fish sauce and chicken in the annato oil. Add shrimp and stir-fry until chicken and shrimp are cooked through.

Noodles:
Soak noodles in hot water for about 20 minutes. Drain.
Add some sliced scallions to the simmering broth.

Use a vertical ladle to dip one serving of noodles in the hot broth for 10-20 seconds. When they wilt, put the noddles in a bowl and top with chicken and shrimp. Repeat for each diner. Add a small amount (1/4 c or so) of broth to each bowl. This isn't pho, so don't add too much. Everyone can add garnishes to taste, but don't be shy -- toss 'em in! This is where some of the best flavors come from.

It's a bright, pretty dish, with very simple flavors -- nothing as complex as pho or bun bo Hue, but who knows, maybe I'm missing something? In any case it was tasty and I'll certainly make it again.

BTW, if anyone (or their Vietnamese sister-in-law) has any suggestions for improvement, please let me know!

2010-12-13T01:36:00.002-05:00

We went to see the Nutcracker Ballet last night ...

... because both Máeráed and Mulan were dancing in it. When we walked in and picked the first row at random to set in there were Murty and Miggs, Máeráed's dad and little brother. Kismet, obviously. Miggs is three now. He is a very active little boy. No. Make that he is a very very active little boy. If energy equaled size he be twice the size of his dad.

So we were a little worried that he might not sit calmly through the whole performance. But... no problem. He enjoyed all the dancing, especially the sword fight between the nutcracker and the rat king. Then one of the little tin soldiers wheeled out an enormous cannon and pointed it at the audience.

Miggs yelled "Oh my god!" and clapped his hands over his ears. When the cannon went off it went pop! and streams of metallic confetti showered out.

Miggs was delighted. Swords and things that go Boom.

more on the show later. It is late and I have been grading.

2010-12-08T17:10:00.001-05:00

Dogs just want to have fun ...

... as this video proves. Actually, I think the little lummox would like this too. He wasn't too keen about the video I showed Mosby Cat as a role model.

2010-11-27T13:21:00.001-05:00

A girl for Mr Miggs!

She's perfect for him. She's cute, she's three, she has an odd choice of Christmas gift she wants Santa to bring her.

But little Mr Miggs would understand!

2010-11-15T16:50:00.002-05:00

Why I think Mosby can take out the little lummox ....

... just watch this.

And I love this one too, for what I think are obvious reasons. My new favorite economist when it comes to market trends.

2010-11-15T09:05:00.004-05:00

Minneapolis, my old hometown. I think I'll dedicate this one to Bill.

2010-11-11T22:53:00.002-05:00

Useful dog tricks as performed by ...

... Jesse the dog. A Jack Russell in fact, which may be part of what the little lummox is. In fact Jesse reminds me a bit of the lummox. It is not any one trick here that impresses but the shear frenetic pace and number of them.

As far as we know, the lummox does no tricks, useful or otherwise.

2010-10-27T09:51:00.003-04:00

Solid evidence ....

... that I am right to want the house chilly, even in the summertime.

Literally. Keeping your house at around 66 degrees is best for sleeping, studies show, and it's a good range for staying energized during the day as well. "A too-hot house is depressing," Pelosi says.

"All you want to do is hibernate and take a nap." During the cool months, she suggests, warm up the house with organic throws and textural surfaces that keep feet warm. (EarthWeave.com has great organic rugs.) Once warmer weather hits, turn on the ceiling fans to keep air circulating, which can help you feel cooler.

It must be true. I read it on AOL who asked "top experts" for advice.

66 degrees.

the Pelosi here is not THAT Pelosi, but an interior design expert. 66 degrees!

2010-10-23T12:56:00.003-04:00

Asheville is one of our favorite places to visit...

... in fact, if we had not had a good reason to visit the Sobrino down in the Queen City yesterday we would have spent a beautiful fall break over in Asheville. If you read this you may get a taste of why.

As for the Queen City, we might be back for another trip to the Flying Saucer.

and to see Mr Sobrino and the Spanish teacher.

2010-10-23T11:52:00.004-04:00

I can't believe they are the same species ...

... the lummox and this creature, that is. And both descended from wolves!

Is this what they mean by "intelligent design"?

2010-10-09T12:44:00.004-04:00

An answer for Máeráed ...

... from yesterday when I hopped into her car for a ride to the Mall. Fortunately her mother Máire was driving!

Máeráed was immersed in a book and ignored me, but her little brother Miggs was happy to see me, waving his new "Shark Shoes" at me. Then he began to tell me all kinds of stuff and began to concentrate. This caused a little dimple to form above his eyebrow, exactly as it does on Mulan and my niece Jessie (must be an Asian thing).

I told him he had a dimple on his forehead!

He told me (three or four times) that he had a dimple on his cheek. In self defense I pointed to my chin and said "I have a dimple on my chin!"

Suddenly Máeráed took her head out of her book and said "Why!?"

Dear Máeráed - here is the answer: a picture of my grandparents, and of their daughters, my aunts.

[In case you are wondering why my grandmother Bertha and my grandfather Scott look more like brother and sister, their respective families had (and have) intermarried many times since 1790]

2010-09-20T18:38:00.003-04:00

In honor of the demise of Mellow Mushroom ...

... our favorite place to meet on Tuesdays for years (not that the staff ever noticed), here are 63 pictures of some very odd, and very beautiful, mushrooms. And to whet your appetite, here is a sample.

Can you say Hayao Miyazaki?

2010-09-05T22:07:00.004-04:00

Carmen found this on a blog ...

... called the Happy Catholic. I know. An oxymoron. But the picture is wonderful. The details:

Dynamism of a Dog on a Leash, 1912, Giacomo Balla
1871 - 1958

The Picture:

2010-08-21T00:20:00.003-04:00

More grueling field work looking for a new place...

... to go on Tuesday nights. Took young Clovis and his room mate to Paolucci's, the new Italian place. It took two Foothill Heffenweissens to get a full assessment of the place. Sausage sliders: good. Chicken parmeson sandwich: great. Fried calamari with shrimp sauce: fantastic. Clovis, who knows a thing or two about food, pronounced the shrimp sauce "superb." Bar menu great, regular menu a bit pricey. Here's its menus, etc.

No no. Don't thank me. It was the least I could for Máeráed's sake.

she's my friend, you know.

2010-08-20T23:45:00.003-04:00

About that Stripper Mobile Carmen mentioned ...

... here. Bananny told us about spotting it on Dale Mabry Blvd. We thought it was too bizarre to be true, even of this place (the unnamed Port City to our South).

Nope. It's real.

Déjà Vu, a gentlemen's club located on East Adamo Drive, has started driving what it calls the "Stripper Mobile" around town. The "Stripper Mobile" is a large truck with Plexiglas sides featuring a stripper pole and dancers inside, sort of like a peep show on wheels.

You can click here for the rest of the article, and a photo gallery.

ok - how many of you guys immediately clicked on this? You dogs.

2010-08-20T21:29:00.004-04:00

And I thought it was just a weird O'Murty thing...

... but this is what I found on AOL this evening.

The campaign that Deutsch created played on the kids’ game that dates back to the Beetle days called “Punch Buggy.” Two kids on a car trip would sock each other in the arm whenever they spotted a VW Bug. The trick was to spot the car before your friend did. Deutsch updated the idea to “Punch Dub,” and created ads that showed multiple VW models, with adults and even celebrities socking each other whenever they spot any VW -- a Passat, a Routan minivan, a Golf, a CC. The strategy was meant to address the fact that many VW models are relatively unknown.

So now I know. Sorry I doubted you Máeráed!

honestly, I thought you and Sir Miggs just made it up.

2010-08-12T22:46:00.003-04:00

Bananny, the sister-in-law, is forcing me to write this...

... down here in this pestilential swamp hole, I have discovered that the tachinos are better, probably because of the atmosphere, the avacates are great, the kiwi superb, and the sore spot in my throat goes away.

There - I said it. Now I am going back to have a beer.

everything else sucks. really.

.

2010-08-10T22:13:00.003-04:00

Well, we made it to that steaming swamp hole to our south.

I am mostly staying in, crouched near an A/C unit, reading some good books. Every now and then I go out with Carmen to ferry my mother-in-law to the nursing home where my father-in-law is staying for some physical therapy.

My mother, on the other hand, seems happily preparing for her 91rst birthday in relatively good health.

Depending on what happens, blogging may be a bit light. Hugs and kisses to all the nieces and nephew up in the High Country while we are gone.

2010-07-29T15:19:00.004-04:00

Weird doggie news from North Carolina....

... though not involving our little lummox, thankfully. The news is weird, not the dog, who seems to have been doing what comes natural. For a dog. In Apex NC little Augie ate his owners savings - $400 worth. The owner is trying to, uh, "retrieve" the consumed bills if you know what I mean. She insists they are in pretty good shape considering, but I don't want to be that bank teller. Anyway, here is the picture that ran with the story.

2010-07-29T14:00:00.003-04:00

Carmen said it was all over for her ...

... this morning as she read over her receipt from Dunkin' Donuts. About the middle of the receipt it reads:

1 Senior 10% ............... (-0.22)

And she had not even asked for the discount!

Unlike Mother ... who demanded the senior discount the moment she turned 60 and was quite happy to do so.

yes, we have a Dunkin' Donuts - it is inside the Super Wal-Mart and is absolutely charmless.

.

2010-07-20T14:07:00.001-04:00

By special request of Maeraed ...

... just her her mom and dad and little brother Mr Miggs can see it.
Some Spanish guy interviews a VERY cranky goat.

well, ibex, actually.

2010-07-15T22:51:00.005-04:00

The LLama farm we visited ...
... last Saturday was a huge amount of fun. Here is the web page for the place. They bill themselves as an Alpaca Farm, or Alpacos, as Máeráed called them. We were going to take Máeráed and Mr Miggs but by the time we had lunch with her family little Mr Miggs was clearly in need of a nap. So we left him.

But Mulan wanted to come along so we picked her up and headed off for the farm, way up on the ridge overlooking Valle Crucis past a little community called Matney. Here is a blurb from the farm's web page:

Apple Hill Farm started in 2002 with 2 pregnant female alpacas and one young female alpaca. In 2008, we are now home to 22 alpacas. In addition to alpacas, we have added horses (some of ours, and some who board), llamas, goats, donkeys, chickens, dogs and cats. We strongly believe that animals need a purpose, so every animal on the farm has a stated job or position. Our animals are treated with great care, respect and love.

Carmen and I, plus Máeráed and her virtual cousin Mulan arrived to meet - a whole bunch of dogs. One was a little runty Jack Russel (we think the little lummox may be part Jack Russel) and a pitt bull called Gunnar who had the most beautiful steel grey coat I have ever seen. There were a few more but I don't remember them.

With all the exotic alpacas and llamas around Máeráed immediately zoned in on her favorites: the new born kittens kept in one of the unused horse stalls! She kept looking at them and telling us all how much she would like to keep them. And I think she really meant 'them,' as in 'all of them.'

We spent over an hour there, hiking around the farm with Ann Marie our guide. Mulan had a good time and liked the animals. It was only later that we realized that Lee, the owner of the farm, is a good friend of her mothers (everybody in two counties is a good friend of Mulan's mother, and for good reason).

We barely managed to get out of the little store without buying something, but we had had a great time. I hope we go back soon. Maybe next time Mr Miggs can go along too.

Although we saw no ninja goats.

2010-07-15T22:45:00.002-04:00

It is now official ...

... the Mellow Mushroom, sometimes known as Máeráed's Parlor, is going away. Via Máire, who I thought was enjoying her vacation in the wilds of Virginia, here is the official announcement from the Mellow Mushroom Facebook page:

mellow mushroom- boone
It will indeed be the end of an era. The corporation squelched our efforts to relocate and we will be closing our doors by Aug. 31. Doubtless there will be another Mellow Mushroom opening in Boone eventually by a different franchisee.

I am not sure which corporation is responsible for this, Mellow Mushroom or Templeton. Either way, we have to find a new place.

However, English Will and I have been doing some field work to find a replacement and I will report on it directly.

2010-07-01T23:46:00.004-04:00

Late report ...

... yesterday (Wed), the lummox and I went for a walk under the trees at the spillway of the dam. It was already getting hot and that part of the Greenway is quite cool in the morning. As we were walking we came across two old men walking their little hound, Brownie. No offense, but Brownie was a little bitch. My worthless beast immediately went into his 'noble dog' pose, standing bolt upright to his full 11 inches, gazing manfully off into the distant sunlit uplands, thinking noble doggie thoughts, I presume.

He holds that pose for about 35 seconds and then turns around to touch noses and other parts. The older men are very chatty and since I am trying to brake into garrulous geezerdom gracefully I chat back. They are locals by their accent. "Hit doe-en' matter what hit does." You don't hear that type of accent anymore except from some of the older folks. But very nice men just wanting to talk about dogs. For a few minutes we have something in common to talk about. Brownie had been in a terrible accident when an SUV ran over her. It really messed her up but she survived and in fact looked fine. After a bit we are all restless and the dogs take us off in opposite directions. The lummox pays no attention as little Brownie trots off.

Almost as soon as my cleaning crew left Murty, Máire and Mischief all showed up. We went over to Chile Verde for lunch. Mischief is his Amslan name. I usually call him Mr Miggs. He has had a fever for several days and was still showing the effects of it. His sister Clever (Amslan) or Máeráed, was at Invention Camp where she is constructing a robot. Apparently what she really wants to invent is a beam across her room that will prevent her little brother from ever stepping foot into again. I assume that this will escalate until she eventually wants a Death Ray up there.

I work a bit at home and later go off to the Episcopal Church to show some videos about early Christianity. It's a good group. One of the members had made lemonade with the perfect mix of sugar so we slurped down a lot of that. It was mainly just the seven or eight people of the book club but at the beginning I had a chance to talk to the new priest and his wife who is from Venezuela. Carmen will have to make her some picadillo or tachinos or something. Maybe Olga Barnes' Sangria.

Slept later than I'd intended. Even with the new CPAP (get your eyes fixed Old Man) I still have been very sleepy lately. Still, it is a great relief to not need nine hours of sleep every night PLUS a two hour nap every afternoon. But I got up, walked the lummox, met Commandante Cinco at the McDonald's and headed down to our favorite neighborhood in Winston: The Throughfare District. Or as I like to think of it, the Borders, Nawab, Whole Foods Triangle. I told Cinco about my ambition to retire right there, within walking distance of everything worthwhile (except that Winston moved the branch library). Cinco agreed. Now he wants to retire there too. But for the same reason I will retire in Central Florida, he will retire in Mexico City.

So I had a fun day. Bought a few things, mainly at Total Wine and Target, including a cheap fountain pen (I sure hope Maire is not reading this). And a timer to time my writing periods (when I use the fountain pens). Also bought several bottles of nice wine to drink while writing with said fountain pen.

Everything is circular.

2010-06-28T23:41:00.002-04:00

Complines ...

... because it is so late. Today I went to get the beast with four paws from what I like to think of as summer camp for dogs. He, on the other hand, thinks of it as solitary in Alcatraz. The folks there, who dote on him, had clipped his claws and given him a bath (they refused to give him the lobotomy I requested). Once again he looks like the Fluffy Tailed Demon of old. For the first few minutes he lived up to the name, running around like a loon. Got him home. The girls are nowhere to be seen - hiding under the bed no doubt. They don't like the little lummox. They thought he was just fine at summer camp. They are now looking at me funny.

Took him for a short walk down by the riverside. It was hot, about 95. At least there was low humidity so we survived, especially under the trees. Then I went up to school for a few hours of work.

I think the CPAP is doing its job now. I did not wear it last night, had no trouble driving, and have not had to take even a short nap today. That seems to mean I can build up some rest and go for a day or so without worrying too much. This is an enormous burden off my mind.

2010-06-28T23:20:00.003-04:00

Report on my trip to the big library ...

... also know as Chapel Hill. I dropped the silly beast off at the doggy hotel. The folks there were glad to see him (they must be charging more than I thought). Then off to the really big library on the campus of Chapel Hill. My new CPAP equipment must be working because I didn't fall asleep at the wheel. That always gets a trip off to a good start.

Went into the library and worked the computer catalog for a bit and then went into the periodical room. I'd explain why that is so much fun for me, but I suspect no one would understand. Met Mulan's dad there as planned.

He and I went off to dinner at the Mediterranean Cafe on Franklin Street. It was good food, but crowded and warm. No, make that hot. We were at about 90 when I left home and it was quite a bit hotter in Chapel Hill. After dinner we went over to the Irish Pub next door for a brew or two. All the waitresses wore short little Irish skirts. And long white socks. Maybe it is just me, but it reminded me of the school girls in Japanese comic books. But my innate sense of decency prevented me from noticing much of this. Mulan's dad just wanted to talk anyway. Good Irish beer.

He put me up at a dorm room in the Methodist center right next to the Carolina Inn. We went in the Inn. It is very fancy, very old South, and very expensive. He called Mulan and I spoke to her for a minute. She is so grown up now and is such a good niece for me.

The next day we said good-by and I went back into the really big library until almost closing time. Had a bit of trouble finding my car, but I won't bore you with the details of that. Went to Lime and Basil, the Vietnamese place Carmen and I had eaten in before, and had a bowl of Pho - really really good Pho. If you are ever in Chapel Hill check it out.

Got home on Saturday and enjoyed the rest of the weekend sans dog. The little cats were delighted.

.

2010-06-28T23:01:00.002-04:00

The Economic Report as researched by the little lummox ...

... who was taking me for a walk through the UPS depot. It was time for all the trucks to go out so they were very busy and a man came out to shoosh us out of the parking lot before one of the drivers drove over us ... or more likely, before the silly beast went for a dive for one of their wheels in motion.

Oh. The economic report. UPS is doing fine, but. . . We went to the little cabinet factory next door. Many times the lummox and I have passed by when it was going full tilt, with noxious paint fumes rising and saws burring. Usually about a dozen cars of workers were in the lot. The lummox always enjoyed walking around and behind the building, I think because the workers usually ate lunch outside. And where there are southern good ol' boys eating, their are lots of scraps on the ground. The dog could usually find them.

Today the factory was dark and silent. All work stopped there some weeks ago. But this evening I saw a sign on the door: THIS PROPERTY IS OWNED BY SOMEBODY OR OTHER'S BANK AND TRUST." So, bankruptcy followed by repossession.

Even an ugly factory when it is working is filled with the snap and crackle of workers earning a living. A closed up factory, no matter how small and cute, is an ugly, depressing thing.

That's the silly dog's judgment anyway.

though it might be prompted by the lack of fresh scraps. He only has a little brain you know.

.

2010-06-28T22:46:00.002-04:00

Question for Carmen ...

... does this photo on AOL look like anyone we know?

BTW, AOL thinks this is a "Cringe-Worthy-Photo"!!!

well, I can see why.

2010-06-25T11:01:00.002-04:00

Very short update report...

... I have walked the little lummox - he got lucky behind Pizza Hut today and found most of a pizza. A vigorous discussion ensued which Clemens won by brute force.

Last night had dinner with Máeráed, Máire and Little Mr Miggs. Máeráed picked the menu and was skewering fruit kabobs when I arrived. Miggs was trying to eat the ingredients of the kabobs even as she worked. Mac N Cheese was the main course of course. Miggs lost his pants somewhere in the course of the evening of course.

Meanwhile, Murty came into the airport late and found that Carmen's car, which he had borrowed so he would have reliable transportation, would not start. The battery was dead as an Avar. Only my innate sense of decency and sensitivity prevents me from mentioning that he left the lights on when he parked in the long term parking lot.

at least that is what Máire says.

.

2010-06-25T11:00:00.002-04:00

For all you futbol fans out there ...

... Lord of the Rings meets the South African World Cup!

A kid friendly video.

now I am off to take the lummox to summer camp.

2010-06-22T23:51:00.002-04:00

One last little detail about that dog ...

... who I am leaving behind when I go to Chapel Hill. I called the Animal Hospital today to reserve a room at the doggy hotel. The young lady asks what's the name... I say Clemens, but the dog is probably under Carmen's name. There is a brief pause while she checks the computer. She must find the name because next I hear:

"Oh, you're bringing Leo over!"

"Uh, yes. .. Do you know Leo?"

"Oh, I know Leo!"

I decide not to ask any more questions.

2010-06-22T23:35:00.002-04:00

When we last saw poor Clemens ...

... he was consoling himself eating homemade beef and beer soup in the kitchen by himself. Well, except for the 35 lbs of useless dog laying at his feet. I think I am spoiling that boy. He liked the soup even better than I did.

BTW, this afternoon I discovered why Carmen gets so mad at him on his walks. I had to pull a disgusting bone that he was trying to swallow out of his mouth. It didn't help that it was about 93 degrees out today. As it has been for the last few days. You could fry an egg on the pavement but he'd rather walk on the tarmac of the old runway than on the grass. His paw pads must be half an inch thick or made out of asbestos.

Had lunch today at Branchiforte's with our local historian friend. He was reminiscing about growing up in a duplex on the hill right behind the restaurant. We talked a bit about the church and a few other things. He knows our dog-sitter and thinks she is very conscientious and takes her pet sitting seriously.

Had dinner at the Mellow Mushroom with Máeráed and her family. Our recovering Republican friend was there too and in fine fettle. So far no one else is running for the office he filed for so he may win! Máeráed was too busy playing with her little DS to say much to me, and Miggs was in a fussy mood, though he did come over to set in my lap. I let him, mainly to give his poor parents a break. It looks like his hair is growing a bit. For a Vietnamese kid his hair is light colored and has a bit of a curl.

I let Máire take Carmen's car. Murty will drive it to the airport tomorrow and bring it back on Friday. The Neon is broken. Máire is not happy with the local Chrysler dealer, but then in my 20 years here I have never heard of anyone who was.

Well, that pretty much covers everything going on for the moment. I am deep into the history of the Indo-Iranians, the Aryans, and Vedic culture. I will try to get some writing done tomorrow on the article.

So, to bed. Once I finish this beer I am drowning my sorrows with. And planning my trip to Chapel Hill on Friday to see Mulan's dad .... uh ... I mean, to do some serious research in the University Library.

2010-06-22T23:16:00.003-04:00

Evening Update on my walks with the lummox...

... and other stuff. Let's see .... I am getting behind. Yesterday morning I took the silly dog over to the Community College Park. Suddenly he went into his infamous killer crouch and I thought, Oh no, here we go again. But then I saw a big old dog walking towards us with his owner. It was Puppus Doggus, his old friend. Of course he ignored Puppus, but refused to take his eyes off his owner. The guy who always give the lummox a little dog biscuit. He gets his treat and the owner and I exchange pleasantries. He recognized my silly dog, but not me. Wondered what had happened to the nice lady who usually walks him.

Then I drove up to Boone taking my CPAP machine that I wear for apnea with me. I have been feeling worse and worse lately, tired, bone weary, never feeling fully awake. I am not THAT old (I keep telling myself). So before I start another round of tests I thought I would get the equipment tested. Roger the Respirator Tech was not there, so I talked to Bob the Respirator Tech. He checked the stuff and said all the soft rubber parts should be replace no matter what. He clearly thought that was most if not all of the problem. So I got a brand new set of nasal plugs of a much more efficient design. Also a new chin strap that is four inches wide and white. Now when I put it on I look like Jacob Marley.

But I tried the new rig and think it makes a real difference. Got through the day feeling much better. I am tired, but it is only normal tiredness (what a oenophile is to wine I am to fatigue these days). It comes from getting up too early this morning - long story, but I will just say to Carmen that Mosby has finally come to believe that yes, indeed, I will give her turkey and Ben has decided that if Mom isn't here, she can still hop on the bed, meow into my face, and get a Ben moment of petting and snuggling.

Unfortunately just as she was getting settled I coughed (another long story, probably involving old age). Unfortunate events ensued.

Last night I made beef and beer soup. It was better than I remembered it. Now I have something to eat for a few more days, even though Máeráed has invited me over for her pasta on Thursday.

This post is getting long so I will add another one in a few moments.

2010-06-20T00:32:00.002-04:00

Addendum to report for yesterday:

Friday, that is. (ooops - there was no report for yesterday).

Went up to Boone to the county court house to see our recovering Republican friend Alan-a-Dale throw his hat in the ring to run for supervisor of soil and water conservation. Let's just say he has his reasons. They involve neither water nor soil nor conservation. I wish him luck on that. Aside from me, his ex history prof, he had his mother and about 7 or 8 young friends show up. His land lady and next door neighbor also were there. I think he bribed them with an offer of lunch at Galileo's. Anyway, we will count it as a groundswell of grassroots support.

Since it is the bar closest to the front door of the Board of Elections I went over too (solely as a show of solidarity in a good cause). Had their usual good soup, a cheap beer, and some, uh, interesting conversation. Some of it with a three year old about the colors of the cabin in the stain glass window right behind our head. And the bug that was crawling around between us. Unlike most little boys he didn't kill it.

Alan-a-Dale thought it was hilarious to watch me talk to a three year old.

I told him I wasn't going to vote for him anyway.

2010-06-20T00:07:00.006-04:00

Very late night report ....

... we have had some weird lightning and thunder here tonight with high winds, but the storm never showed up. Leo does not seem to be bothered by the thunder and lightning as much as he used to be. So far he and the girls seem to be taking the absence of Carmen in stride, though we have had the usual problems with the futon (Ben) and the carpet (Mosby).

Yesterday after walking the little lummox I rushed up to have dinner with Máeráed and her family. Instead of mac n cheese we had rice and chicken and something they never did explain to me. It was good though. Clovis was there too. Mr Miggs got rid of his pants fairly early in the evening, then took the phone out of my hand to talk to Carmen. I didn't think he would say much but he started chattering away. I had to snatch the phone back.

Today I went up the mountain to the Black Elvis' house for a good bye party for Dave and Karen. Mr Miggs was there and soon divested himself of his pants. Máeráed took me out for a walk in the woods. She said we were going to a fort and she knew exactly where it was. We started walking and I said "Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure!"

Some time later, "Are you sure you know where this fort it?"

"Of course I do! It's just over the other side of the hill Uncle Clemens!"

Five minutes later: "Are you sure? I think we have been by this part of the trail before."

"NO, it's right over there!" she says, pointing in a direction completely different from the way we started out. Or the way we are going for that matter.

Soon the slightly older boys whose fort it was came through the woods and saw us.

Sensing rescue from this walk in the woods, I ask them if they know where the fort is.

"Sure - it's over there!" and they point in a completely new direction.

"See? I told you I knew where it was," said Máeráed.

Memo to self: don't go into the woods with self assured 8 year olds. Especially if they say they know where they are going.

Anyway, I left after a brief stay in the fort, which turned out to be a clear spot by a small stream under lots of branches, bushes and other stuff. One of the older boys kept warning us about the copperheads. I left Máeráed with the boys at her insistence. The boys ignored her and continued their conversation about the difference between Wiccans and Witches.

When I finally got home I took the lummox out for his walk down by the back end of the Greenway. For some reason he really did NOT want to cross over the boardwalk and go down the trail. I don't think he likes it for some reason but can't figure out why. After about 20 minutes I took him back to the car. He seemed fine with that. It was over 90 here today so maybe he was just too hot.

2010-06-19T19:12:00.002-04:00

Carmen and I always knew ...

... there was something seriously wrong with this guy.

I mean, who would mistreat Winnie the Pooh. At Disney Land!

.

2010-06-19T19:08:00.001-04:00

For pantless boy with cheeks of tan ....

... DANCING ROBOTS! An absolutely kid safe video.

you know who you are.

2010-06-17T23:01:00.002-04:00

Complines report...

... it's too late for anything else. I had a good, relatively productive day. Spent some time on the computer going through the library holdings and researching the late Byzantine Empire's military situation. Found a lot of good stuff. Then I read through my manuscript draft of the article on the Alan expedition to Byzantium. I have not finished writing the narrative yet but once I do the analysis should be simple since I've already put so much thought into it.

Perhaps because I was in a late Roman mood after all that I watched about an hour or so of "Fall of the Roman Empire" complete with commentary by the producer's son and another movie expert. Gorgeous movie. In case you have never seen it, it is basically "Gladiator" with a larger cast, better sets and costumes, better script, music, etc., but less excitement.

This morning took the silly dog down to the back end of the Greenway. This time he actually completed the walk. There were lots of bikes on the trail, mostly parents with kids.

Yesterday I took the little beast over to the big Merlefest stage where a gaggle of little 6 year old girls up on the stage for some sort of organized summer program saw him coming. By the time he was about 1/10 of a mile away they started making little dog sounds, woofing and barking at him. He ignored them. When we got up to the stage about a dozen little girls were exclaiming how cute he was and asking if I could bring him up so they could pet him. I took him up to the little camera platform about 3 feet below the stage. Tiny hands reached through the railing and petted him, while he turned his back and gazed out over the sward. He seems to expect this kind of adulation and is willing to put up with it if he must. The little girls were very nice, and very polite, thanking me many times for letting them pet my little dog. If they only knew.

I am holding up well, even though it has been four whole days on my own. Actually, it isn't so bad. Even Ben and Mosby are being sociable. Mosby hops up to sleep with me and Ben has been running all around the house. Yesterday she had one of those head to head confrontations with Fluffy Pasha, the big cat who lives in a box on the porch next door. He raises his head up over the bottom of the big bay window that Ben sleeps in during the day. This usually drives poor Ben into a complete screaming maniacal tear that somehow ends up with her getting into a knock down drag out cat fight with Mosby.

This time there was only a moderate amount of hissing and a rather sedate run under the bed. And in less then a minute she was wandering back into the front room to see what Fluffy was doing. I think this is her idea of flirting.

The house still looks and smells deliciously clean after the two hours Carmen's two friends put into cleaning it yesterday. I can probably undo all of that by Monday. But I have to admit, I could get used to having someone come over to clean up.

It is getting late and I want to go to get up early tomorrow. Alan the Recovering Republican is having a ceremony to mark his filing to run for commissar of Soil and Water Conservation. I have to think, what harm can he do in that position?

I mean, compared to, say, BP in the Gulf?

2010-06-15T12:45:00.002-04:00

The Morning Report ...

... as delivered by me, Clemens, for Carmen.

Woke up late of course. Did my matins while eating breakfast. Multi-tasking.

Walked the silly dog at about 10 am. I was going to take him to the Greenway for the shade but he wanted desperately to walk down the street so we went off to the medical center. He likes that walk for some reason and even kept up a fast pace despite the heat. Trotted over to the Pizza Hut where he continues to hope to get lucky and find some pepperoni. Probably the best work out with the Great Dawdler I've had in weeks.

Now we are back, the girls are sleeping, I am wasting time on the computer.

See, Clemens can do just fine on his own.

now, off to my daily rounds.

2010-06-15T00:08:00.002-04:00

On my own ...

... now that Carmen has left me. Well, for three weeks while she is suffering from the extreme heat of that pestilential swamp hole to our south, taking care of her sister Binanny while she recovers from surgery I am on my own. Except for the friends Carmen has hired to come over and clean the house once a week. And the neighbors, all of whom she has told to look after me, especially if they see me wandering around the neighborhood reading a book rather than paying attention to the traffic. And I have several options she has set up in case I want to ditch the dog and get out of town.

But I am reduced to cooking for myself. Actually, I rather like that, at least for awhile. My skills tend to involve sharp knives and lots of chopping so I brought out the ol' Crock Pot. Although last night it was late when I got home so I tried my other skill: pan frying a small steak. That worked well. This morning before I took the lummox out for his walk I chopped up a bunch of stuff and threw it into the Crock Pot along with some special herbs and spices (mainly curry powder and cumin) and let it go all day (my finger should be healed by the end of the week).

It turned out to be Lentil Curry soup and was excellent if I do say so. I gave a bit of the broth to the little lummox and he concurred. (I must admit though that it has been some time since the lummox had any other reaction to any type of food)

Tomorrow, of course, will be dinner with Máeráed and family at the soon to be gone Mellow Mushroom. Her mother has given me a big bag of potato soup and Carmen left me enough spaghetti sauce to feed the Italian army.

So you might say I am fixed for food.

2010-06-14T23:53:00.003-04:00

Life with the Little Lummox ...

... and two weird little cats now that Carmen has left us for three weeks. Yesterday I had to go up to school and then came home early enough to take Leo for his little walk. We went over to the soccer playing fields at the Riverside Park. There were a number of Hispanic teams playing and many of the players' families were there. As we were heading for the car a gang of little kids came running over to see the lummox - they looked like they ranged from three to six and all boys. Only the biggest seemed comfortable in English. They asked if he was mean - I said "No, es muy amable con ninos. So they all started petting him. "Sauve!" I said. They were very gentle with him but were full of questions: What kind of dog was he, what did he eat. I tried to explain about how he loves to hunt moles and other underground animals but none of them knew anything about underground animals. I let them play with Leo for a few minutes. He looked perfectly content with all the adulation from the little crowd. When I saw a second wave of little kids, this time girls, heading for us I figured we better get the showboater into the car before he became a bit too popular.

This morning we went down to the trail by the dam because it is shaded and runs alongside the river and so is simply cooler than any of the other trails. He likes that. Actually he likes variety. This evening we went to the Community College but he insisted on walking up through campus where Carmen never takes him.

Well, that's one day down.

2010-05-31T14:04:00.002-04:00

NINJAS to the rescue!

A post for little Mr Miggs, who turned three today!

Three Australian thugs began robbing and beating a German medical student in Sydney right outside Ninja Senshi Ryu, a ninja warrior school. "You should have seen their faces when they saw us in ninja gear coming toward them," one of the ninjas said. While fleeing in panic, the thugs were arrested. [from The Week]

So we can tell Miggs that ninjas are real, and perform good deeds!

With Mr Miggs it is important to stress that last part since he is all energy and mischief.

2010-05-31T13:57:00.001-04:00

Ben, our little cat, was very brave Friday evening ...

... Our young friend and computer guru Clovis came down for dinner. Dinner was good - beef and cider stew (I made it myself). After dinner we went back into my study so Clovis could play around with my laptop (i.e. he fixed it). We look up into the hallway and there is Ben! Looking at Clovis. And she doesn't go into a fit of fear and flight. Twice. Amazing.

For the rest of the evening Clovis also hooked up our giant TV Murty gave us and then sat down and chatted for some time. He's grown up into what Carmen insists is a nice young man. Well, if Ben is comfortable around him ...

2010-05-23T12:56:00.002-04:00

Just for Murty and his son, Mr Miggs ...

... who both may grow up to be soccer players someday. Some ads from the World Cup. First, the one considered brilliant. Then, our favorite. And our second favorite, for Pepsi. It has sumo soccer players (sorry Miggs, no ninjas yet). Carmen found these.

is it just me, or do some of those guys remind you of young Clovis?

.

2010-05-21T20:52:00.003-04:00

The little lummox is also red in tooth and claw...

... and life here at home is so much wilder than life at the perfectly manufactured Animal Kingdom. The day after Fluffy Pasha ... uh, 'disposed' ... of the injured bird, I was walking with the lummox down by the Yadkin River. He is nosing through some tall grass, gives a snort, and tosses his head my way. Out of his mouth pops a little mole, already dead as a doornail after one titanic shake.

The little lummox is no longer interested. He has performed his ancestral duty. He walks away.

2010-05-19T00:49:00.002-04:00

Nature red in tooth and claw...

... or so that old saw goes. We sure did not see it at Disney's Animal Kingdom. Everything was squeaky clean, calm, and very unbloody. In fact the animals out on the 'savanna' seem to think of their existence in the land of Mickey as a job. Every morning they are roused from their comfy straw piles, and sip their morning jo before heading out of their compounds for a day in the hot central Florida sun impersonating wild beasts. Mostly they lay around and sleep a lot, but you know how grueling that can be when thousands of tourists are staring at you from noisy little land rovers and expecting you to be more photogenic. Even the tigers wanted to sleep under the shade.

Then, as it approaches quiting time at 5 o'clock the well trained beasts line up patiently at the entrance of their pens for the whistle to blow so they can punch their time tickets and get their evening meal and, at last, a chance to sleep.

Fun, informative, but not very 'exciting' if you know what I mean. No chase. No kills. No blood.

We had to come home for that.

The first day back I was calmly, not to say comatosely, setting at my kitchen table drinking coffee and reading some Toynbee when I hear a loud ominous THUNK from the front of the house. I go to our great bow window to look. There on the ground right in front of the window is a bird flopping around. Its head is bent at a frightening angle and one side of his body seems paralyzed. With the one leg and wing that works he is trying to get up.

I am beginning to weigh the need and means to put him out of his misery when suddenly their is a flash of white and black fur out of nowhere. It's Fluffy Pasha, the weird cat who lives in the box on the porch next door. He scoops up the bird and mauls it for a fraction of a second. Then he settles down to watch the poor fellow try to get up again.

I suddenly remember something very important to do in my study. When I return 30 minutes later Fluffy Pasha is gone. So is the bird.

btw, Leo the little lummox was out in his room on the other side of the house. A fraction of a second before Fluffy Pasha exploded into my vision Leo started barking at him. That was at least 50 feet away. Fluffy is no mean sprinter for his age (and breeding).

2010-05-17T20:00:00.001-04:00

Let's see if this will work. Here I am, with Maeraed and Mulan, our two ballerinas. The Old One wanted to know why Maeraed and I have exactly the same expression. That's simple.

We are plotting to take over the whole world and bend it to Maeraed's will.

2010-05-17T19:54:00.003-04:00

HOW TO BAKE A VIETNAMESE CHOCOLATE CAKE!

First, catch one Vietnamese boy ... cover with chocolate cake batter.... pop him in the oven...

.... (results may vary).

2010-05-01T20:41:00.002-04:00

Update on Trouble ....

... aka Little Mr Miggs, or, Máeráed's brother. Seems he has been giving his mother a compelling argument for heavy drinking, if not child abuse. Here is the whole ugly story from the Murty and Maire family blog, as told by Maire:

I was making dinner (pasta with spicy Italian sausage + cannellini beans) and Martin was watching the kids. Next thing I know Mickey came running over to me with GREEN GOO pouring out of his mouth. He threw up more green at my feet. As I frantically cleaned up his face and mouth and got him spitting more green out, he dropped the tiny tube of green acrylic pain he'd been clutching. Apparently he stole it from Maggie's art supplies, and bit the friggin' tube just to see what it was.

Two different poison control centers have assured us that as long as he isn't coughing (which would mean he'd aspirated some), acrylic paint is water-based and almost certainly non-toxic.

Almost certainly. Great.

I brushed his teeth, his tounge, the backs of his teeth and the lining of his cheeks. I scrubbed the inside of his mouth with paper towels. I washed his hands multiple times. And I made him spit. A lot. The green seems gone and he ate dinner happily. And he's reassured me he'll never try to eat green paint again. No promises about purple, though.

Well, I guess he decided in this time of climate weirdness to go green.

it apparently is more restful to be a notional uncle than a real mom.

.

2010-05-01T20:09:00.002-04:00

It's a pleasant evening here in Wilkes ...

... and right outside my window I can hear Steve Martin strumming his banjo as part of the great Merle Fest. Next up, Elvis Costello! And we can here it all up here on the hill from our bedroom window. Wish I were down there though - I could have listened to Scythian again. Instead I spent the entire afternoon grading papers.

Well, except for an hour or so discussing departmental politics with Commandante Cinco over a few beers.

And this morning was spent watching Mulan and Máeráed in their dance recital. That was fun though I just about ODed on cute little munchkins in tutus - there were dozens and dozens of them, all color coded (Máeráed was pink). Mulan was spendid, even though the hip hop, tap and jazz routines are not her natural bent. She is a ballerina - and the classical training shows. She had a lot of numbers in this show.

Well, back to grading. Either that or reading about the grand strategy of the Byzantine Empire.

2010-04-18T21:48:00.003-04:00

Another one of 'Toothless' looking like Ben (the cat).

2010-04-18T21:38:00.004-04:00

Carmen and I went to see "How to Train Your Dragon" ...

... this afternoon at the very retro theatre in downtown North Wilkesboro. We discovered that the Night Fury Dragon known as 'Toothless' (how could they do that to a Night Fury!) looks exactly like Wacky Ol' Ben Womble, our little black cat. Here she is ... the Dragon I mean.

2010-04-18T21:36:00.001-04:00

Important announcement....

... the cat living in the little box on the porch next door, formally known as the Evil Dr Fluffy, shall henceforth be known as Fluffy Pasha in honor of his Turkish roots.

2010-04-18T21:28:00.002-04:00

Miss Muffet, spring hat, and Trouble.

Making their garden grow.

2010-03-31T21:54:00.002-04:00

In our current episode of life at the Boone Mellow Mushroom ...

... there was a lot of excitement. A beautiful redhead with big blue eyes showed up with her proud dad. She's only 10 months old and made a horrible face when Clemens held her.

Young Máeráed ignored all of the hubbub and was busy writing something on her laptop. In fact she paid no attention to Clemens or anyone else until she was done. Then she immediately popped over to my table as if to say she was ready for me to pay attention to her. I asked her what her project was and she said it was a PowerPoint presentation about President Obama. She even has a big pretty picture of his Certification of Live Birth from the state of Hawaii. Certification - linguistically that is what a 'Certificate' is. A 'certification.' Even a 7 year old knows this.

She was so excited about her project that she wrote to Obama telling him about it. It was a beautiful hand written note. In this get-it-done-immediately slipshod world of e-mail and twitter, how many of you take the time to hand write a note? Or course, she should have used a fountain pen, but still. ..

Anyway, Máeráed being Máeráed, she is already wondering why she hasn't heard from the guy. Doesn't he take the time to answer HAND WRITTEN notes from 7 year old Irish-Americans!!??

Well, he has an excuse, I suppose. A lot, and I mean a lot, of mail. In fact the process of answering all of it took a whole long article in The Washington Post to explain how it is done, and how Obama reads 10 randomly chosen pieces of mail every night. Some of which he actually answers with a HAND WRITTEN note on special note cards. With a BLACK FOUNTAIN PEN.

I'm telling you, the man walks on water.

2010-03-12T23:00:00.000-05:00

Back in the steaming swamp like morass of the unnamed port city to our south ...

... which actually isn't so bad. In fact, it was Carmen who was complaining about the heat today. I was fine, staying at Mother's condo with the little lummox while Carmen and her sister Bananny went off to the Port City Sasparilla Art Show. They were out in the sun. I went for a long walk with the lummox under the shade of the trees.

Bananny noticed that the little lummox seems to be a little tired, maybe even depressed after 6 days here in the fun and sun. Six long days of having his lunatic canine cousin jumping up and down on his head. Six days of boring walks around the same neighborhood with no snow and no ice.

I think he will be glad to get back up to the slow mellow life in the foothills of North Carolina, gateway to the High Country.

It makes me a little nervous sometimes how much alike we are.

2010-02-28T16:10:00.003-05:00

Yes, we have had a bit of snow here lately ...

... Not so much in Wilkes, after about a week of it, but up here in beautiful downtown Boone where I sit in my office this very minute it is snowing today as it has for every day in the last week or so. And the week before that. And probably the week before that, since I can't seem to remember a time without snow.

Here is the "Groundhog Day" version.

like General Patton on war, "God I love it so."

Don't hit me, Carmen!

2010-02-20T22:00:00.002-05:00

Another disgustingly sentimental dog story ...

... for which I apologize in advance. Don't much care for the beasts myself.

I am only putting it up because Leo insisted.

.

2010-02-15T22:56:00.003-05:00

To console him from his long slow struggle ...

... with the evil,....uh no ... Herr Doktor Doktor Fluffy, we are thinking of getting a companion for the little lummox.

What do you think?

2010-02-15T22:53:00.003-05:00

A movement just for us ....

... me, my old brother Jesse, brother Jesse the Confederate Nut, and my other brother Jesse.

It's all about being slow.

I can relate to that. Especially the little mention of the Fountain Pen Hospital.

.

2010-02-15T22:22:00.004-05:00

The little lummox has an arch enemy ...

... who lives in a little box on the porch of the house next door. He hates the cat that lives there because he regularly comes out of his little box, parades all over the lummox's own driveway, and then does slow, languorous tummy rolls. Our little lunatic has a complete meltdown.

The cat's name is Fluffy, or as I believe lummox thinks of him, "The Evil Dr Fluffy." He came to the neighborhood late one evening, with no known antecedents, looking like any old tom, and settled in. The lummox hates him. In fact the little lummox has decided that his mission in life is to protect the household and his pack (i.e. Carmen and Clemens) from the clutches of Dr Fluffy. This is how he earns the excessively good treatment he receives here.

The Evil Dr Fluffy is a striking looking cat, with a battered boxers face and a big pink WC Fields nose. He's a hard bitten looking veteran of god-knows-what.

The other day I was in the Hickory Barnes and Nobles, where we had gone just to get out of the house after days of snow and ice, when flipping through a picture book, I saw THAT FACE! Exactly. And the caption explained that it was the face of an exotic cat called ... The Turkish Van. I couldn't believe it. The evil one had a pedigree.

It's true. Here is a picture of a Turkish Van mix, which looks exactly like Fluffy, right down to his unusually fluffy black tail, and the WC Fields nose. Here is a description by the owner of the cat in the picture describing his destinctive fur:

It’s like a cashmere baby blanket, or the softest fur on the tiniest bunny you ever saw. Turns out Vans do not have the awn and guard hairs most cats do, just the silky downy stuff.

The other giveaway is his markings. The characteristic Van pattern is a brilliant white body with a colored tail and matching head, or as I call it, his toupee. As merely a VanAlike, Alfie doesn’t have stripes on his very plushy tail and as seen in pix, he’s got some big Holstein-like dark spots mixed up on his otherwise white body.

It's Dr Fluffy! I am so amazed. This breed comes from the shores of Lake Van, in Turkey, though it is really the ancient homeland of the Armenians. These cats are exotic, mysterious, high bred, with an amazing history.

So from now on it is no longer The Evil Dr Fluffy, but Herr Doktor Doktor Fluffy

2010-02-15T11:23:00.002-05:00

Blame Canada...

(with apologies to Elliot). Ray tells us we are being hit with a "Saskatchewan Screamer", a vicious blast of cold air from Saskatchewan, Canada! Anger at our neighbors to the north has temporarily diverted Carmen's attention from "the man who brought me to this living hell."

Lummox and I are being veerrry quiet.

Sorry Elliot. Somebody has to take the fall.

2010-02-15T10:59:00.002-05:00

Ray the Weatherman makes is official ...

... "this winter has been the snowiest on record through February 14. The table below shows the 10 snowiest winters through February 14 in Boone NC. Notably missing is the winter of 1959-60 when the winter total in Boone was 104"--most of the snow that year fell between mid February and mid March. Weather data for Boone goes back to the 1920s."

Ray is the local weather guru. Actually he is an ASU prof whose passion is meteorology and produces a weather page. Locals rely on it because it is, well, local, and so more accurate than the government weather service or the weather channel.

Things are getting ominous here at Clemens central: Carmen is aimlessly wandering around the house muttering under her breath, shaking her head and laughing unpleasantly. The cats are just yowling and running from window to window.

The lummox is very quiet. Me too.

2010-02-15T10:51:00.003-05:00

Man, this is getting ridiculous ...

... the weather that is. The little lummox's lunatic urge to go out in the morning for a long walk, every morning, come hell or six inches of snow is well established. We are getting more snow today. Carmen bravely suited up, hopped in the Subaru and mushed off with the little beast even before the snow plow came through.

As for Boone, it apparently will snow every day until Tuesday. Even Maire of Deep Gap is beginning to complain about the snow. Even her kids are beginning to think it is too much of a good thing. And Carmen has been complaining so much that her complaints are tapering off. Or maybe they are just getting drowned out by the rising chorus of weeping and wailing from everyone else. Some considerable gnashing of teeth too.

Meanwhile, the lummox and I just lay low and keep our mouths shut.